As much as this is going to sound like a Carrie Bradshaw
intro, I’m willing to take that risk and talk to you about a
subject that is really starting to stress me out.
A friend and I were talking the other day about the future
and what we ultimately wanted/needed.
Now, this may be an issue that is specifically geared
towards the ladies, but the older I get, the more I see this common fear
amongst myself and the other ladies in my life: Can we have it all?
Can we have the career we are madly in love with, plus the
man (or lady) we are madly in love with, simultaneously?
Neither one of these things are easy to accomplish to begin
with, let alone add a whole new bag of constant failure and blind faith on top
of our already stressful situations, which makes you wonder if it’s even worth
it.
Do we have to choose? And if so, what does that choice say
about yourself?
I, personally, don’t want to know. Ignorance is bliss, and
Twisted Puff Cheetos have gotten me through some tough times, but how much
longer can we hide from this question? And how much are we willing to sacrifice
to find out the answer? If there is one.
This all sounds so mellow dramatic, and I apologize that
this is the post I give you after a three week hiatus, but I’ve been going
through some pretty shitty writer’s block and I’ve realized it’s because I’ve
been running away from my feelings, while opening up to someone new, all at the
same time.
Vomit, I know. But at the end of the day, I am still a lady,
with lady parts, and thus get to be an emotional betch. Deal with it.
Some of you have really gotten to see me grow. I started
this blog three years ago (hiding in my parents house with adult braces after
graduating college) and I now live in NYC, dealing with my grappling fear of
failure and the fear of the unknown.
Two things that have proven much harder to let go than I had
ever assumed.
There are new people in my life that I don’t know what I’d
do without, and I’ve watched my worst/immature/emotional decisions become some
of the greatest/happiest turning points of my life.
I will always strive to document my life in a humorous tone,
no matter how shitty the shit is, but I ask you to bare with me through these
moments of emotional neediness and confusion that are bound to rear it’s ugly
head repeatedly. (Like, right now.)
And as I venture off into the world of paid writing, I beg
you to still love me, even after I sell out.
Side note: This post got weird, real quick. But again, thank
you, for sticking around. I’ll be here, as long as you are.
But as the red wine begins to hit, it’s only bound to get weirder,
so I’ll leave you with this: my life is insignificant, and not even worth
reading; I am not an expert on anything, far from it, my only strength is my
ability to bluntly open up about who I am and my choices so that you can learn
through my mistakes.
Thank you, past Natalie. You’re welcome, future Natalie.
I love to read your stuff. Sometimes I might even have something significant to say. Keep up the good work.
ReplyDeleteMellow dramatic is excellent. You did that on purpose, right? You are not insignificant. You are doing an amazing job of using words to describe what you are going through. At least, I think I got it.
ReplyDeleteAnyway, you must be sorting it out in your head to be able to do that, no?
Nice. And just so you know, I'm nairing my nuts right now and maybe risking a chemical burn by exceeding the 10minute "Do Not Exceed" warning on the label to type this.
ReplyDeleteomantic schmantic! leave the roses for when you're actually a couple. Focus on your interests, but be friendly. Over bearing attention will make a woman step back.
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Hello soulmate ;D Finally someone who knows what it feels like to be carrie obssesed . Hope your writing block is over;)
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