Dear Foul-Mouthed Advice-Giver:
As I attempt to avoid doing actual work by following your writings, I noticed that you are open to taking my questions regarding dating. As you live in the largest city in the country, and have debatably one of the most charming demeanors for a lady our age, I am choosing you as my guru.
How many dates should I wait before putting the moves on someone who keeps insisting that we "take it slow" to build a relationship?
How do I tell someone who wants to "take it slow" and build a relationship that I only dated them because I wanted sex?
Is it really inappropriate to get out of bed immediately and sneak away following intense emotional discussions?
What is an ideal first date? For guys? For girls?
I am certain more questions shall arise should you choose to take on the task of my spiritual leadership in this area. Also, if I am lucky enough to encounter you again in the future, I shall repay your services in beer or wine if you are pretending to be classy.
For me personally, I’ve never it made it past date one. Shocking, I know. And it's something I’m personally working on at the moment. You are also in an even trickier situation seeing as the dude is the one that wants to take it slow.
Now I know you want to have sex, who the fuck doesn’t?! But I think you need to step back and ask yourself how do you really feel about this guy. If he is someone you are purely trying to use for sex, walk away. Sex with emotions on one side but not the other is hard as fuck to deal with. He will try so hard to not let you be the one that “got away” when you finally decide you cannot handle his needs along with the sex. Do you want to deal with that? The endless calls? The emotional guilt trips? The extravagent gifts? Okay the last part sounds all right...
Believe me, there are plenty of other easy fish in the sea.
But if he is someone you actually enjoy being around and have feelings for, why not give it a shot?
Guys and girls have a verrrrrrrrry different perception of “taking it slow” and I think you will find him in your pants way sooner than anticipated. Which is good, that is what you want.
As for how to tell him you only dated him because you wanted sex… I wouldn’t. I know honesty is important, but ouch, that would really hurt. I don’t mean lie, but maybe just avoid that convo, for his self-esteem’s sake, that is. I mean come on, it sounds like you are about to break up with him, let’s give the guy a fighting chance afterward. And if you still feel that way about him, like I said, walk away now before you and him get in too deep.
I’ve run/snuck away/kicked someone out way too many times than I’m willing to admit too. I blame it on my immaturity and issues with vulnerability and commitment. Maybe you and I have that in common? Is it inappropriate? Absolutely.
But, I think ladies in this generation face a very different issue when it comes to dating and sex than our foremothers did. We want to get laid. We really do. And sometimes we just don’t have time for the emotional shit. Does that make us terrible people? Yes. But we will be highly successful, nonetheless.
As for a perfect date: baseball game. Stole this answer from a friend, but so true. You get to drink as much as you want, and if you have nothing to talk about there’s a game you two can watch in silence…while still getting drunker.