Which I kind of forgot about since I had to make the appointment over a month ago, hiding from the kids I nanny, only to have them scream, "Natalie! Who are you talking to? Who are you talking to?!? I'm allowed to know!"
Besides that moment, I tried not to think about it. Until, I got into the shower ten minutes ago and looked down.
Which is probably karma for me saying, "I don't have to shave shit!" to myself every time I'm in the shower since my, "I'm no longer having unemotional sex," vow.
Which, might I add, has been fucking amazing. It's so much easier. I'd thought I'd miss the drunken sex when, you know, I got drunk but I dont have to share my bed anymore! I don't have to feign interest in subjects we both knew neither one cares about! I don't have to share my food anymore!!!! I. Fucking. Love. It.
But I will admit, I have been hounding my best guy friend who's getting married if their was anyone I could hook up with at the reception.
Whateva, that's in a month. I'm allowed to have a prescheduled slip- up in a month. And he gave names. Those poor boys.
What do I wear to a gyno? Do I wear a skirt for easy access? Paint my toe nails? Draw a dog with a Sharpie near it. What if he and/or she doesn't like it? Are they allowed to not like it? Am I allowed to not like it? Cause I don't like it. Seriously, vaginas are icky. They are all vaginaey and shit.
Ug, I'm so not ready for this. But we all know I'm going to do/ say some awkward shit and then write about it for you all to laugh.
I do this shit for you guys, god damnit. I do it for you!