5 year old: Natalie, are you wearing your Superman bra?
Me: ...No.
5 year old: Yes you are.
Me: How can you tell?
5 year old: They just look different.
Me: They look different?
5 year old: Yeah. They look happier.
Me: Happier?
Side note: Best way to communicate with children...just repeat the last thing they said. Totally sounds like you are paying attention.
5 year old: Yeah, you know. (Point to face then smiles.) Happier.
I look down.
Me: Yeah, I guess they look happier.
5 year old: Natalie. Can you just take off your bra so I can wear it?
Me: Uh...no.
5 year old: Why not?
Me: Because...because...no.
5 year old: Natalie, may I please wear your Superman bra.
Me: No.
5 year old: But I said please!
Me: No dice, kid.
5 year old: I don't want to play with dice. I want to wear your bra.
Me: It's an expression. It means you are not going to get what you want.
5 year old: Fine. I'm going to draw now. And I'm not drawing a picture of you.
Me: Are you going to draw Superman?
5 year old: ...Yes.
I didn't know Superman wore bras.
ReplyDeleteIt's good that the kid is finding out early that saying "please" isn't as effective as adults sometimes make it out to be...
ReplyDeleteEverybody knows Superman makes titties happier. That's just science.
ReplyDeleteI hope the kid drew Superman in a bra. With happy titties.
Kids are awesome. And also, what kind of bra was it? I NEED one!
ReplyDeleteFood for thought: kids are learning at an early age that no doesn't mean no. Is it any wonder that the crime rate is escalating? I know that isn't really where you were going. But, if that sweet girl couldn't accept at 5 y.o. (and she should have it by then) that no means no, then boys probably aren't getting the message either. That doesn't bode well for the future when they want the Superman bra off and some girl is saying, "No." Parents please start doing better. It isn't up to the nanny, the teacher, or the next door neighbor.
ReplyDeleteOn a lighter note, now I wish I had a Superman bra. Or Wonder Woman. I really like Wonder Woman. Or maybe Buffy the Vampire Slayer. Or Angel. Now, you've done it. I am stuck in the Superhero Bra Land of Wishes.
Damn, I don't think (at 5) I even knew what a bra was! Also, I agree with Robin ^
ReplyDeleteChildren are precious, precious creatures and say the weirdest shit I have ever heard.
ReplyDeletemy student told me she loved my nails.. because they looked like kitty poop. not kidding - had to blog about it. so I enjoyed reading your experience with kids and bras!
ReplyDeleteAt least you don't live in LA, where I get asked on a daily basis how much I paid for my (extremely real) tits. I mean, they are pretty spectacular (and you can attest to this, having seen/molested them), but still. That is a totally rude question and I will thank you not to test this theory with a motorboat, goddammit!
ReplyDeleteHaha, this is amazing. I wish I had a lovely little person to remark on my boobies looking happy. Unfortunately I have them saying shit like... umm... when are you having a baby...? Apparently I just look like I might be having one. JOYOUS DAY! FML. Love Elle xo
ReplyDelete