Is this called alcoholism or being the black sheep? I don't know, but you better believe my next post will be about the absurdity of being forced to partake in the joyous event of two souls being united in holy matrimony...."sober."
Fingers crossed for some good ol' drunken slurs out of my classy assed mouth while talking to the southern bapist groomsmen.

It's not alcoholism nor is it being the black sheep..though you probably are both. It's being the normal one in a room full of people who need to fucking relax.. dry wedding? what?
ReplyDeleteDude. I've been to a few of those Southern Baptist-style dry weddings and you were very smart to bring a flask.
ReplyDeleteA dry wedding? That's rather oxymoronic. Or at the very least moronic.
ReplyDeleteA DRY WEDDING??? That's liable to get you killed on the southside of Chicago. Even JESUS had wine at the wedding at Cana. SHEESH. Glad you're packin'.
ReplyDeleteHa ha ha! I went to one of those a while ago. We brought wine and left it in the car. The groom said we could bring it in once certain family members had left, which luckily was relatively early. Our entire table was so thankful they could've kissed our feet!!
ReplyDeleteMy sister had a dry wedding reception and left for her honeymoon straight from it, leaving me and my parents at her house for the night before packing up and leaving the next day.
ReplyDeleteWe drank all of her beer and booze.
i definitely take drinks with me to weddings. i mean i do live in utah, the mormon capital of the world. no drinkin is ever allowed. period.
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