...not my key. Not my problem.
2. The fridge stopped working.
...right after I fucking bought groceries too! The only things salvagable were the fudge, cookies, reeces' cups, pecan pie and the apple pie...because we are jack asses and like our desserts refrigerated.
We are getting a new fridge today so that's cool. However, yesterday when I opened the fridge to cry at the lack of food inside...it was cold again. We just aren't going to tell the super about that one...
3. I had to kill this fucking prehistoric bug...
....and yes I cried while doing it....pure terror tears.
And let me clear up a couple of things...1. The bug was fucking huge... like three inches and it could fucking fly...so yes I crapped my pants when I first saw it. 2. Yes...that is a mouse trap...stuck to a Keurig...it wasn't the best plan...but it was the only thing I could think of at the time being...seeing as Matt said I couldn't use any of his shit to kill it... 3. Yes...it was a real bitch getting the mouse trap off of the Keurig...especially since that fucker was still alive...that was awkward. "Hey, little fella...I'm going to kill you soon...now that your wings are stuck to a Keurig coffee maker."
4. The fucking heater started leaking.
...which is conveinently located in my room...for christ's sake!
Now someone order me a pizza, god damnit.
Oh my, my worst fear of living in a city apartment is that I will one day find a cockroach in my apartment, at which point I will have to move.
ReplyDeleteThis is very tragic. I can't believe you had to eat your desserts room temperature.
ReplyDeletethat is FUCKING DISGUSTING honestly...i would have died. one time i tried to kill (a giant) one with water...well guess what, THAT SHIT DON'T DROWN! Ugh i'm glad you did humanity a favour and commited murder.
ReplyDeleteNumber 1 is incorrect. The key just randomly broke in half.
ReplyDeleteOH MY GOD!!! I started hyper-ventilating a little bit when I saw the picture. I had my first run in with a cockroach this summer and then the fucker laid eggs IN MY SUITCASE and came home with me so the little bitches where infesting my bathroom. I lived in my own little hell for about 2 months.
ReplyDeletenot my chair. not my problem.
ReplyDeleteI recently moved to a new apartment and those mammoths rained from the sky while I was taking a shower the first day.
ReplyDeleteI always hate when the fridge stops when you buy a ton of stuff. It always happens to me during a summer powerout
ReplyDeleteAt least you saved the desserts! Honestly, I'm not totally sure I see the problem here.
ReplyDelete@Bailey That's the same thing I thought of!
ReplyDeleteAt least all the sweets were salvageable. And now you have an excuse to eat them instead of real food, since you don't have any real food.
You're probably safe now.
ReplyDeleteHe was probably alone.
Roaches aren't know for, you know, hanging out with other roaches...
Why is it that roaches only love apartments? Why don't they ever come visit me in my house? Is it because they just don't like the commitment that comes from buying? They'd rather live month to month?
ReplyDeleteGreat, now I'm going to have to check my Keurig for roaches just to be sure.
I think we can't be friends anymore because you posted a picture of a roach AND OMG I CAN'T EVEN SEE ONE. I'm totally impressed that you killed it though, so I guess we can be friends again.
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