1. People who say, "Whole Foods changed my life."
...did it now? Well your life must have really sucked then...also...I may or may not have said this...I don't want to talk about it.
2. Assholes who write in Moleskin notebooks.
...you do realize that just because your "thoughts" are being put into a $30 dollar notebook does not make them any more interesting...so why don't you just go ahead and buy a 40 cents composition book (like myself) and stop being a little prissy ass bitch.
3. Models
....fuck off.
4. Ladies (of all ages) that run in only sport bras and jeggings.
...your fupa is showing...and so is your camel toe...just saying.
5. People who stare at me angrily when I blast Kesha "We are who we are" on my ipod...fuck off...she is a lyrical wordsmith, GOD DAMNIT!
6. Couples that hold each others pinkies.
...fuck off.
7. Hot guys that are obviously gay.
...I'm really starting to not like the male options for straight ladies over huuuurrrrr....this might become an issue...not like it wasn't an issue already...whatever...fuck off.
8. Rich high school girls.
...is it bad that I kind of wish that you all have STDs? ...Karma is going to get me for that later.
9. Hot dog/pretzel/ice cream stands.
...haha who the fuck am I kidding...I fucking love those diabetes food carts...now if they only would start selling wedding cake, too...
10. Hipster douches.
...mostly because I'm slowly turning into one... now should I get white girl bangs...or an ironic tattoo...or both?!
that would be incredible if those food carts started selling wedding cake...
ReplyDeletethere are some in queens that sell souvlaki. delicious.
ReplyDeleteWelcome to the Big Apple my friend. You have just listed all the main groups of people that encompass this fair land.
ReplyDeleteWhenever your around the rich high school girls, do you ever feel like your on an episode of Gossip Girl?
ReplyDeleteAnd i say go for both the tatt and the bangs.
New follower here..... you are genius. SO FUNNY, points well made indeed. :)
ReplyDeletei don't write in a $30 notebook, but i do write with a $300 pen and it def makes my thoughts more interesting. ;)
ReplyDeleteI live in one of the outer boroughs (Staten Island) and attend school in the city. I adore the food carts though (especially the ones that sell shit you wouldn't expect) and wish I was closer to where they park.
ReplyDeleteAs far as Whole Foods being life changing, they DO have the freshest strawberries in the dead of winter, I just can't afford them.
UM...I love your list as much as you hate everything on the list!! IF there was a food cart parked in front of my house that sold Chili Cheese Fries and Wedding Cake...I would give up on my appearance completely.
ReplyDeleteThis sounds like a continuation of "Stuff White People Like".
ReplyDeletemmmmm wedding cake, hot dogs and salmonella. Yum!
ReplyDeleteHot Dog stands need to be in my life
ReplyDeleteJust make sure the fucking bangs are even. Nothing pisses me off more than uneven bangs. Or uneven anything as it relates to hair. STUPID!!
ReplyDeletehello there. its yur nice share. regards. i was followed No. #788. follow back please.
ReplyDeletelol! i dont even know where to begin -- but your post was very entertaining!
ReplyDeleteIs it sad that now I want to check out Whole Foods and see if it changes my life?
ReplyDeleteOpt for an ironic tattoo in another language. That'll confuse 'em.
ReplyDeleteLiving in the city for a month now has given me the SAME sentiments towards people. Is it normal for me to be angry 23 hours of the day? Just tell me now. . .
ReplyDeletehttp://carrymel.blogspot.com/