1. My “I heart my penis” car air freshener.
2. Watch of Hoe Chi Min…or whatever the fuck that asian dudes name is…
3. “Medicated but Motivated” flask.
4. Disco ball.
5. Comedy writing book collection.
6. Whoopie Cushion.
7. “All Dogs Go to Heaven” DVD.
8. My german beer-girl Halloween costume.
9. Black pleather leggings.
10. Two rubber chickens.
11. Some random blue elephant necklace I’ve never worn.
12. This asian trinket box that has two people doing it when you open the box.
13. A crap ton of composition books filled with terrible jokes that I swear one day will make me famous I tell you!
14. Spongebob Squarepants stuffy.
15. A carton of Hellman’s mayo.
16. My funnynotslutty.com stickers…which I plan plastering on every subway possible.
17. Orange nail polish.
18. Your mom.