I used to have adult braces when I was 21.
…I’m now 22.
Those days still haunt me.
I don’t think I will ever be able to accurately explain the mental havoc adult braces cause on the individual psyche.
It fucking sucks.
I’ve had a 13 year-old hit on me in a Dairy Queen…I don’t want to talk about it.
So if you ever find yourself in this terrible situation…yell at your parents for not loving you when you were younger and then get the ceramic braces.
They don’t make a difference up close…and they will cause you to uncontrollably snore/drool/fart(don’t ask)…but they aren’t noticeable about 10ft away…so that way that guy walking towards you won’t notice them till about 3ft and then he can’t turn around without looking like a total douche in front of your friends…
ANNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNND that way…even with adult braces…he will be forced to talk to you for approximately 10 minutes…giving you ample opportunity to allow your personality to sparkle…and roofie his drink.
It’s a win-win situation to be quite honest...
He gets laid…and you get to tell yourself you aren’t sexually repulsive to the opposite sex…even though you did in fact dope him up with roofies.
Whatever…fuck you…bitches with braces got feelings too.
Well this puts an end to the debate about me getting braces (again) to correct some movement I am not happy about. I wouldn't have to wear them long but I am all out of roofies so I should probably not go for it. Well shit...
ReplyDeleteNow, my question is do you have to have braces to roofie his drink? Because actually attracting a guy and sealing the deal is just way too much work.
ReplyDeleteAdult head gear rocks though!
ReplyDeleteYou forgot to mention the worst part about braces - it's super sexy that braces save a little bit of everything you eat for later.
ReplyDeletelmfao @ last line. WORDDDD!
ReplyDeleteWhen I got braces I looked like Josey Grossy from Never Been Kissed.
ReplyDeleteNot my best moment.
Hmmm, I assume the effects of braces are far worse when you get to 33... Maybe I'll just wait till I need false teeth!
ReplyDeleteSo am I supposed to get braces or not? lol
ReplyDeleteShoot girl, I had braces on and off for 6 effing years. I got them off for the final time the summer going into my senior year. It’s no wonder I didn’t have any dates for dances let alone a boyfriend until senior year of high school. I effing hate braces and people who have never had the pleasure of dealing with metal in their mouths at all times. Bitches.
ReplyDelete