I’m so full of shit. I say I want a nice guy. But I don’t. I say I don’t want another douche bag. But I totally do.
I’m a douche. I get that. I’ll never deny that. And thus being a douche I cannot be with an undouche dude. You drive me crazy. I like politeness…but overly nice? Come on! Stand up for yourself while I’m calling you retarded.
It’s very off-putting when you don’t, retard.
To be perfectly honest I don’t want any guy. In the sense that I don’t want anything serious. I like the guys that I hook up with…I wouldn’t hook up with them if I didn’t.
They are usually pretty good friends. (I have a very bad habit of sleeping with friends, actually…) But it’s just so fucking convenient!
You’re comfortable enough with them so you can laugh at their hilarious sex faces (which come on, everyone’s sex face is HI-larious…its all serious and shit) yet not close enough that you don’t feel bad not leaving a note explaining where you went… when they finally decide to wake up from your bed…or feel bad for not driving them home afterwards…
…it’s called the walk of shame for a reason…because I am ashamed to drive you home after we bone…people don’t need to know my business…even if I may blog about it two days later.
…and it always leads to the most hilarious early morning texts… “I hope I was a disappointment.”
Is that selfish? Oh most definitely.
Side note: I just sneezed all over this post…god damnit…I hate nature. I’m outside while I’m writing this…well technically I’m in my car with the windows open (don’t ask) but that is close enough.
I guess what my real question is…is that such a bad thing? Does it make me less of a person not wanting to be with someone? At least I’m honest about it. I know a lot of people (especially women) look down upon this. But I know what I want…and a relationship just isn’t it.
Sometimes I feel like too much emphasis is put on love. Why do we have to constantly search for the one we want to love? Why can’t we search for the one thing that we love to do? Maybe I’m just lucky, and I’ve found the one thing that I’m inconceivably in love with pretty early in life.
Maybe I’m just too pessimistic for my own good…and for that I blame Katherine Heigel…that little bitch.
i blame the notebook. that does not exist in real life ok. i see people in public all proud of their love. it makes me sick, and i mean that in the most genuine way.
ReplyDeleteSee, in your thirties you will outgrow the lust for douchebags, I promise you. It's worth the wrinkles in exchange.
ReplyDeleteI'm beginning to think you have a secret crush on Ms. Heigl. I'm on to you, bitch!
ReplyDeleteAlso. NOT BAD AT ALL. I'm with you. Sides, how old are you? Like 22? Come on now! You're young. Fuck away.
You know what you want and that's way better than most people have it. Don't be worried about what you're supposed to want, just go with it and enjoy yourself. You don't have to live up to anyone else's expectations.
ReplyDeleteI think you're being honest with yourself and that's great. I've just about hit that point where I don't want anything with anyone right now, at least nothing serious. However, mine probably stems from the fact that my trust is abused on daily basis and I don't feel like dealing with that anymore.
ReplyDeleteKeep doing what you're doing!
you dont want cold water or hot water, you want warm water!
ReplyDeleteThe reason why women look down on you and point judgment is because secretly they want to be doing what you are and don’t want to admit it. Either that or are too afraid to leave the dream of “I need to find my one true love”. You know how many unhappily married people there are out there? Fuck what people say and keep fucking your friends!
ReplyDeletepicklesinmyass.blogspot.com
I called this my empowering slut phase. We all need it. But just like when you were in first grade and boys were gross, you too will tire of this as a decade passes, and crave stability when your hormones go all Darwin on you and your brain goes crazy and you want to settle down with one person.
ReplyDeleteBut for now, keep fucking your friends and be the haughty, sexy bitch you are in the shower when you're scrubbing them off you, thinking about which friend you're going to call next. Cause this stage of life is AWESOME.
To Wild and Frequent Fucking!
It is definitely not wrong of you to not want to be with someone - I WISH that I could feel like that! If you're at a point in your life where you don't think that you want to commit to someone, then don't do it. You can't force yourself to want to be with someone.
ReplyDeleteI applaud you! Besides you know your friends and they've probably been wanting to bone you for *ages* now...
ReplyDeletei don't think anyone should ever go looking for love or a relationship. if you happen to meet someone who that seems like the natural progression of things, then go with it. but when people go on the mission of finding someone to 'love' that's when they end up marrying a sociopath who eventually kills them and their unborn child.
ReplyDeleteAnytime I get google searches on my blog along the lines of "is it awkward to have sex with a friend" or "why is it awkward after my friend and i hooked up" I want to respond "You're clearly picking the wrong friends."
ReplyDeleteI'm tooooootally with you on the hilarious early morning texts being a benefit to sex with friends.
For a week, I was thinking of anything and everything relationship. I even cuddled with a guy the morning after. Cuddled?!?! That's when I realized I had reached a low point and got my shit together. Now I'm back to having this same mindset.
ReplyDeleteI feel the same way. I hate people caressing me all the time or having to explain where and when I'll do things. I'm in a relationship but I miss the freedom of doing what and when i want.
ReplyDeleteAt least you're self-aware enough to understand that about yourself instead of putting yourself (and your men) through the constant circus of trying to kid yourself into wanting what you think you should want.
ReplyDeleteI like the way you think... and sorta wish we were friends.... unless you're a dude.... or worse, ugly. Yes an ugly person is worse than a dude, because a good looking dude can still indirectly help me get laid... but an ugly person.... has nothing to offer. You best have a rocking personality. Then again you do say you're cute... but doesn't everyone? Anyway, good post.
ReplyDeletelive free!
ReplyDeleteYoung people aren't supposed to be tied down. Where is the fun in that?
From the time I discovered that friction gets the juices flowing, I have been with someone. I was married at 23, and I am divorcing at 40. I married a nice guy, and although we had some good years, I wonder if I would have met someone more matched to me if I did not care if I was alone.
ReplyDeleteGreat post!
Great!
ReplyDeleteAwkward Sex in the City
Welcome Back, Kotter
I get sick of people easily, so it's best not to fall in love or I'll end up loving some person I'm already sick of. Something like that.
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ReplyDelete