....i used to just hoard all the vanilla icing cups and finger to the mouth with that shit.
2. That gooey pure sugar shit that came in tubes.
....oh don't even pretend like this wasn't crack for 4-year olds...I used to sell this shit in the back alley of my private school in 2nd grade...I kind of wish that was a lie.
3. Reading.
...this probably didn't help...but god damn those Captain Underpants comics were fucking epic.
4. Corndogs.
....it's a gateway drug, really.
5. Ramen noodles (cooked or uncooked).
...god damn I could eat that shit any way/shape/form...and that is why I am proud to be an AMERICAN...and white.
6. Cake
...fat kids love cake...or so I've been told in numerous rap songs.
7. This guy.
...god damn you cookie monster...you brilliant genius you.
8. Ellio's Pizza.
...it's a gateway drug, really.
9. Eating spoonfuls of sugar...multiple times a day...
...no seriously I used to sit on my kitchen counter and eat pure sugar...then one day the sugar container was "misplaced" by my parents...only to have my parents find me hiding in the living room shoving spoons full of sugar into my mouth hours later.
10. Being fat probably made me fatter.
...well...it did.
I remember that cereal because my brother loved it.
ReplyDeletehahahahahah!!! good stuff
ReplyDeleteDUNKAROOS!!! I miss those so much. Ate them all the time when I was a kid. Hilarious post.
ReplyDeleteI wasn't allowed to have that much junk when I was a kid and I thought it was so unfair! I was still a chubby kid mind you so I'm thankful to my mother for being strict otherwise I would be a miserable fat fuck today. I'm just a chubby generally happy person now. Hahah
ReplyDeleteDunkaroos fuckin rock !!!!
ReplyDeleteGod fucking damn I want to read my Captain Underpants books now. I have them in a box somewhere...
ReplyDeleteI loved dunkaroos, like I had some weird obsession with that icing. It never seemed to be enough, I always wished they filled the cookie section with icing, and the icing section, screw it all. Give me a jug of betty crocker cake frosting and let's get to it!
ReplyDeleteThere was a point in time when I used to drink caramel ice cream topping right from the squeeze bottle like it was fucking Gatorade.
ReplyDeleteAnd by a point in time, I mean last week.
Hahahaha pure genius....yep I was in a similar frame of mind as a kid and I am lucky I still have all my teeth and am not a raging diabetic nightmare.
ReplyDeleteI used to get home from school and sit near the front window with a big spoon and a tin of Ovaltine and shovel that shit into my mouth. When I saw mum's car hurtling down the driveway I would quickly pack up and act all innocent.
Until one day she caught me..
I used to steal bags of chocolate chips (milk chocolate. Fuck semi sweet!) from the pantry and hide them in my underwear drawer. Then my mom found them so I started hiding them under my mattress. I would eat a whole bag in 2 days.
ReplyDeleteYES! I totally used to eat spoon fulls of sugar. I sadly feel so much better knowing I wasn't the only one. Oh the day I discovered sugar cubes!
ReplyDeleteoh god I remember all these things, my mom would never buy them. it made me sad them but glad now
ReplyDeleteHave you ever read the Hyperbole and a Half site posting about cake? I think you'll identify.
ReplyDeletehttp://hyperboleandahalf.blogspot.com/2010/10/god-of-cake.html
I LOVE DUNKAROOS!!! Do they still make them? If there is a god, they will still be in production! But I always got pissed because there was never enough icing for all the cookies. Well, maybe there was, but my 5-year old fat ass wanted every cookie smothered in icing.
ReplyDeleteI actually went into a casey's gas station last week looking for those squeeze pops!! lol
ReplyDeleteSome of these I've never heard of.... those squeeze pops were awesome though, as were ring pops and candy necklaces.
ReplyDelete