Well to you…I say this…
How would you feel if the only thing you ever….EVER… loved was suddenly taken away from you?
That the one thing that opened your eyes to a whole new world…to a whole different way of life was just so selfishly snatched away from you by some dude who “supposedly” died for your sins?!
First off…what fucking sins?! And B…I’m fucking perfect God…do you hear me?! Perfect.
… give me my fucking mayo back.
That being said…this mustard on sandwiches deal is horseshit.
It fucking sucks…it’s all yellow and arrogant and shit…it’s all like… “Hey look at me…my names mustard and I’m so cool…and yellow…and my shit don’t stink…and fancy (if you’re going the Dijon route)… everybody just looooooooooooooooves me.”
Everybody loves you not, mustard. Everybody loves you not.
The fact that the legal pad I’m writing this post on is yellow and is evoking so many levels of hate and disdain, should prove that fact alone.
Not even a 3 hour picture marathon of weimaraner puppies would make this lady (me) happy right now.
So…yeah…a mayo less lifestyle is causing my blood pressure to rise to insurmountable levels.
And yes…my tolerance for stupidity/ignorance/grade F meat seems to be slim to nonexistent.
But on a lighter note…I have noticed this insatiable need to buy some shrubbery…green shrubbery.
I want nothing yellow in my life ever again.
Because I’m pretty sure that the devil's dick is actually in fact yellow.