All right Chick-Fil-A….let’s talk.
You bitches need to get your shit together.
The only time I fucking want your savory chickeny chick chick chicken goodness, is on Sunday…and you guys are conveniently closed…what the fuck, Christians?
What. The. Fuck.
Now, look….I get it…God wrote on some tablets and said some crap about Sunday being his fun day…blah, blah,blah…but when someone’s religion get’s in the way of my fast food consumption, I gets pissed.
And when this bitch is hungry and pissed….aw helllllllllll nah. Shit’s going down.
Deal with it.
Taco Bell’s got their shit together. Get on there level, Mr. Fil-a.
Their best deals are on Sunday. Why, you ask? Because it’s the Lord’s day…and on that sacred day…God said, “My fellow minions will one day run the earth straight to hell from too much boozing, unprotected sex and women/Asian drivers, and thus I would at least like their stomachs and hearts filled with the greatest gift I could give.”
… and thus created the greatest hangover elixir ever….Grade F meat, steak quesadillas.
And all you vegetarians can shut the fuck up….we all know that shit isn’t really meat, so shut your hole with a beautiful “steak” quesadilla and finally live.
So come on Chick- Fil-a? What’s your fucking deal man? You’ve created a drug mister and let me tell you, word around the street mister, business is a booming.
And I know…I know…you think God will be a little peeved, that you’re working on the “Lord’s Day” and he said not to do that and shit…but honestly, if you really think about it…you’re doing him a disfavor.
God love’s everything he ever created…including a number 4 with an extra side of polynesian sauce….and you wouldn’t bitch out on God? Would you?
I didn’t think so.
…I’ll see you this Sunday, Mr. Fil-a.
I sometimes get mad about that as well.
ReplyDeleteBut on the flip side, having worked in retail it is nice (as an employee) having at least one day off a week that you know all year long you can count on being off on that day.
So I can see it from both sides.
I don't know what it is about a Sunday, but I never leave my bed on Sunday...I just lay there till I get stricken with the urge to take a ho bath ;)
ReplyDeleteYou know what else pisses me off? Indian restaurants close between 2:00 and 5:00 PM. What the fuck is that about?
ReplyDeleteI LOVE me some curry at 3:00 on a Saturday!
KFC forever.
ReplyDeleteBest food post ever!
ReplyDeleteI agree. Dude, you're a FRIED CHICKEN joint. God's law demands you to serve on Sunday!
I discovered Chick-Fil-A years ago and was appalled to learn it's closed on Sundays!
There's no Chick Fil-A in the city of Los Angeles.
ReplyDeleteWe are all the devil.
Waffle fries are our salvation
Is this the petition to have the Fil-a to be open Sunday's? SIGN ME UP!!! They always do this shit to me too. Damn it!
ReplyDeleteOh dear Paige. I understand your annoyance very clearly. No Chick-Fil-A open on Sunday! It could be worse!
ReplyDeleteHere in Nevada there is no Chick-Fil-A! I'm in hell! The closest one is in Sacramento and its a 3 hour drive to get a tasty-as-fuck chicken sandwich! Although I have made trips with only the intention of buying a tasty-as-fuck sandwich from there.
The worst is when I have the craving for it and its fricken winter time so the pass through the mountains to get to California is closed! That make me angry! GRRRR!
Now I have a damn tasty-as-fuck Chick-Fil-A sandwich craving! Great!!!
two things on chic-fil-a:
ReplyDelete1) stopped at one in anderson, south carolina on a christmas road trip home. my sandwich and fries definitely came with a flyer, detailing the sacred love of jesus as the reason for the season.
2) my boyfriend's word on having chic-fil-a as one of three options in his college dining hall: "cram your christian fundamentalism up your ass; i want my fucking chicken."
so repugnant, yet their chicken is so good...
OMG Chic-fil-a. Sooooo delicious!
ReplyDeleteWhile I have heard of Chick-Fil-A...I've never actually seen one...and therefore have never been able to enjoy its goodness...
ReplyDelete...my life is clearly incomplete
It just seems like bad business to not sell hangover food on a big hangover day.
ReplyDeleteAgreed! Mitch Hedberg had a funny bit where he was saying how tough it would be to be the new guy on the Chick Fil-A marketing team- you'd get shot down all the time. They would be all like 'You need to increase sales and profit!' and he would be like, "I have an idea- don't close for 50% of the fucking weekend!"
ReplyDeleteI had chick-fil-a for the first time ever over xmas. God it was amazing. I miss it now horribly.
ReplyDeleteSOrry but I totally get it, Hobby Lobby is also closed on Sunday. Its the lords day of rest. Your not supposed to do anything on sundays.
ReplyDeleteI reconmmend that your purchase your chicken on sat night and save it for sunday.
Just a thought.: )
Funny post, One time I went to Fil-A on a Sunday and was very upset it was closed. I was all excited to get my grub on and then Bam my little heart was broken when I had to have a wawa sub instead. :(
ReplyDeleteWhat a waste of a good Sunday to just sit on your ass and do nothing. Are we saying God approves of laziness? I hardly think the lord endorses morbid obesity.
ReplyDeleteIt's cool if they want to allow their employees to go to church, but church is over at 10 or 11. Open the restaurant at noon and let the good times roll, and Bob the chicken fryer will be all pepped up from just coming from church. Just sayin'.
No Chik Fil-A where I am *sad face* but we do have an uber greasey restaurant like that called Al's French Fries. Serious Gut Rot but the only cure for an incurable hangover.
ReplyDelete-RB
justaddwaterlife.blogspot.com
OMFG I am officially following you. We were just discussing the unfairness of Chick-Fil-A being closed on sundays at lunch this afternoon.
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